carry all your thoughts, across the open fields.

Monday, November 09, 2009

hi humans,

ive got no idea why but i just dont feel good this few days.. i am feeling down.. and i dont know why..
seriously. i am trying hard to give a happy face and a cheerful smile to let everybody around me think that i am a happy girl.
i missed my old self. i missed the time when i am always cheerful and eventho there is something worrying me but i can overcome it openly..
i am tired of giving a fake smile while inside of me are dying..
tsk.. i missed the usual clique.
i missed my cousin.
i missed my classmate.
i missed my outside friends.
i miss everybody...
and i miss u..
BADLY..

O's is ending soon.. and i gonna get my freedom back soon.
i am supposed to be happy, aint i?
but i just cant feel it.. OMG !
i need my happy pills.. i need my laughing pills.
ohh gosh i dreamt of grandaddy yesterday and i dreamt of him yesterday..
what does it mean?!
the only thing i know is that i missed my grandaddy..
i missed the time we had together.. if only u can come back...
but the other dream.. hmm ive got no idea..

u always make me happy.. u never failed to cheer me up..
whenever i got ur text or phone called i will be wearing off that happy face..
but at times u disappointed me with ur u-know-what.. i know i dont have to mention..
cos i dont think i should tell everybody about that..
at times i dont understand u.. u always make me wondering and make me feel bad at times..
i think we are drifting apart..

i have enough i want to be happy girl.
i'm off.. i need to study..

<3

at 11:51 AM

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

heyy humans,
its been awhile seen i last update my dusty blog.. was busy preparing myself for the BIG O's.
yea so much of preparing...
due to the o level ive been sleeping late and wake up super early just to studystudystudy..
so this is the timetable for my O's that i had followed for the passed few days and weeks..
if the paper is in the morning : slept at 2am wake up at around 5am to continue study before getting ready to school.
if the paper is in the afternoon : slept at 2am wake up at around 7am and studyy..
weekends : slept at 4am wake up at 8am..
yea and now ive got eye bags and dark circle !! UGLYYY!
but did this for the sake of O's.. hope it is worth it..
so my next paper which is science paper will be in 6days time and O's is officially over..
but i dont know why, i dont have a good feeling about this. i mean ive got a premonition that i will not get a good result.
i can't convince myself that ive gave my best shot and have the confidence in what i am doing.
tsk.. i know that i must not think of such stuff but i just couldnt get it out of my head..

anyway all the paper was quite difficult and some was okayy..
i hope i can get the result that i am aiming for..
okay ENOUGH about studying..
i cant wait for O's to be officially over because i cant wait for shopping,outingouting&more outing..
some of my friends have plan for a trip to sentosa and all.. OMG !!
ohhyaa did i tell u that i am attending prom?!
so yaa kinda excited..
but now still have to focus on my mcq which i dont know if i could retain myself from using the laptop, going out and stuff..
but i will try my very best to concentrate.. hehe..
nothing much to update..
will update soon..

p/s my girlfriends is so hilarious today..
;D

at 11:12 PM

Friday, October 16, 2009

hi humans,
today was funfunfunfun!!!! went to school today just for the sake of PE LESSON!
YES I LOVE PE! MY CLASS LOVE PE ! this is the only time that we are able to be ourselves and release the stress that we are having after a long tedious and hectic week of studyingg..
eventho only around 2/3 of the class came, but still we enjoy it to the fullest..
had our PE lesson at the new indoor sport hall..
ohhmyy damn it is so cool. serious !
at the first part, the girls play captain ball while the guys as usual basketball but then they joined us not long after..
even the PE teacher joined us for the game.. we really have alot of fun..
we sweat alot..
went back to class and suppose to continue with SS lesson but we have sharing session with our SS teacher.
she really motivate us.. then continue with SBQ. but i aint listening in class.. me and my friends was busy writting notes for our teacher..
for once, we went to recess as a whole class. even the boys sit at the same table as us.. OMG!
when GIRLS MIXED WITH BOYS = very noisy and chaotic !!!!
after recess supposed to have english lesson but we told the teacher to let us off since there is not much student..
and i dont know how come she agree with that arrangement.. hahh..
so instead of doing english we cam-whore while the teacher busy teacher some hardworking soul. hahha
we cam-whore like mad and now my phone and my friends phone is flooded with our photos..
hahhaa...

yeayea.. thats about it..
the photos are all in FB..
u can check it out.. even the unglam pic is up.. hahhaa

so yea thats about it..
gonna start mugging later untill midnight..
hopefully can tahan..

anyway,
HAPPY DEEPAVALI !!

at 8:52 PM

Thursday, October 15, 2009

heyy humans,
yea its been awhile since i last touch this dusty blog of mine..
was busy with O's and yaa.. u know i know.
hmm so nothing much i could say.. life goes on..
anyway yesterday was my graduation ceremony..
at first i was excited and i cnt believe that after so many year i have finally graduated but yet yesterday, the day that i have been waiting for was different..
yes graduate means that we have finally completed one chapter of our life but its also the beginning of our new life ahead.
on hearing the speech by two of my classmate on the stage and the slide presentation..
i burst out crying.. i have got no idea why.. its just unexpected.. i didnt know that i will ended up being sad..
hmm maybe we have a lot of memories and fun together as class..
i cannot deny that my class have a lot of conflict and misunderstanding but yet we are able to resolve it and be united once again...
the fun we had together will remain as memories forever..

here are some picture that we took yesterday..
i will upload more in FB..
O's are drawing nearer..
part of me want it to be over and done with but another part of it is very anxious and nervous and dont fell like take it..
-.-"

anyway,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY FATIN!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NABILLA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIDAH!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOEL!

yea thats about it...

at 5:55 PM

Saturday, September 12, 2009

trapped inside my own head
remembering every word u said
i am screaming and fighting trying to find a way out
curled up in my own mind drowing in doubt
wrapping inside my thoughts overlooking the days
trying to find my out of this solitary maze
indulge in judgement of the outside place
looking in a broken mirror at my shattered face
waking up from the nightmare from which i live
caged like an animal nothing seems to give ...

for once,it is not all about u..
i wish i did not met u 4 to 5 years ago..
we used to read each other like a book
but times have changed as they tend to do
and u have turned my life into a zoo
tears fall hard,
my head starts to pound
and all at once my hearts hits the ground
i dont know what i did to make u
think that i cant do anything right
for lately it seems our hearts and our dreams are as different as black and white.
i aint strong but i am trying hard to accept everything and be strong to go thru every single things that coming my ways.

i am disappointed with u for making me going thru this at this critical times when my O's are drawing nearer and nearer every single day.
i am disappointed with myself for not being strong enough to go thru such things and not able to focus because of this things.
tsk...
maybe everything happen for a reason.. i believe in fate i believe in karma..

:(

at 1:12 AM

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

hi human..
heyyheyy look at today's date.. its 090909.. cool huhh..
wandering who birthday fall on this date.. so lucky nyehhh..
anw anw i am talking crap.. duhh..

so, 'holidays' have been a great one with revision and extra lesson.. i'm lovin it..
life have been great with no disturbance from any nonsensical loser nor childish people..
no offence people.. i am living my life to the fullest..
the only thing i am thinking now is only the BIG BIG BIG O's !!!
now i am not interested in what people gonna say or do. i mean the nasty thing as usually..
because i felt in this world there is a lot of jealousy, hatred and insecurity in this world..
and thus rumours and gossip will arise..
so after knocking some sense in my brain i dont think i need to entertain such nonsense stuff..
rightright?!
absolutely :)
but i will always treasure my friends:)

anw will u believe me if i say i have got 6 hours of maths lesson today?!
had extra class today.. amaths lesson is from 8-12pm which is equal to 4h and emaths is from 1-3 which is equal to 2h..
ohhmyyy but im still fine and i haven gone crazy:)
hehe...
hmm i just break my fast.. break fast with my brother at home since my parents when out SHOPPING..
they went somewhere and then going to geylang ... they asked me to tag along but i dont want because i am not in favour in going to geylang..
firstly a lot of people, secondly very warm (look at the weather) , thirdly i just dont like..
so after having a hard time deciding we came out with an idea of having a western food for dinner..
so being a lil sister i wanna be good so i went down to the nearby coffee shop to buy fooddddd...
hohoho :)

ohhyaa i went to collect my phone last two days.. and now my phone is perfectly fine. hahha
but unfortunately i lost 1 or 2 contact number because when i am using the spare phone i didnt save that number in my SIM card so now its gone.. gone for good maybe.. DANG!
nothing much to blog about..
only that i missed my cousin..gahhh!!!!!
got extra lesson tomorrow and friday.. boohoo!!

and i just realize that i am only left with around 48 more days to O's..
ohh gosh 48 more days?! i still have a lot of revision to be done !!!
save me !!

i'm off then.
:)

at 7:29 PM

Friday, September 04, 2009

hi humans,
look its already september !!! time passes in a blink of an eyes.. ohh boyy..
anw i am happy to announce that prelim is finally OVER !!!
today is the last paper which is the science MCQ.. hohoho..
received some of the paper today which is emaths and amaths..
boohoo i am delighted but at the same time not satisfied with what i have got..
i passed both paper.. but the grades is not what i have target for..-.-"
although i have improve a bit from the MYE and didnt really study that much for this paper but i really felt that i should had done better.. ohh boyyyy.
but whats done is done and moved on..
the most important now is to prepare for the BIG 'O' level....
with hardwork i believed my classmate and i will make it..:)

say hi to to the september holidays and say goodbye to term 3...
but as usual the graduating classes will not have our holidays..
our holidays are always burned up with extra classes..
but mind u, i dont mind sacrifice my holidays for the sake of the O level..
because i know that i gonna have a longer holidays after the O level..
not forgetting that with good result i will be able to have a good life ahead.. hohoho.

anw, when to town in the afternoon just now.. just to send my sick phone for service.
but no worries i have got extra phone to spare so feel free to text me :)
went with u-dont-have-to-know-who.. had fun just now..
walk around at the new shopping mall which is the orchard ion..
quite nice.. i love the toilet..ohh boyy.. okay weirdo.. hahha
train down to amk hub and broke my fast there..
bus-ed down to cwp to killed sometimes.. but really we regret taking the bus because the journey is not smooth..
yadaaydadaa reach home at around 10pm..

i am taking 1 or 2 days off and i gonna start with the revision..
i already make the promise to myself that i gonna put in extra hardwork for the O's..
and i will make sure it is not empty promises..
hehehe...
i wanna go SHOPPING!! I NEED NEW CLOTHES!!
but.. yes there is always a BUT..
i need to control myself and study instead of going out...
fasting months have been going greats.. i just loves fasting month..idk why..
maybe because i am able to save money.. duhh..
i've got my daily and monthly allowance from my parents..
okay okayy enough..

update soon humans...
happy holidays and good luck to those whose taking the N level..
:)

at 10:16 PM